Looking for work can be a depressing exercise, to say the least. There's a lot of rejection, a lot of waiting on phone calls and emails that never arrive. But you also have to find the humor in the whole process. And I occasionally get a good chuckle from my daily job alerts.
I've generally been searching for writer/editor/content manager positions, and every so often, the job search boards provide some interesting suggestions for my employment. Here are a few of my favorites:
Program Officer, Anti-Corruption. This one does sound kinda cool.
"The candidate. . .must demonstrate interest in anti-corruption practice and theory."
Well yeah, I'm all for that. Seems to me there's a big need for that sort of thing these days. However, I get dinged on the requirements for the master's degree and the experience in "working on anti-corruption programs in emerging markets."
Might be a job better suited for Austin Powers. Moving on.
NA GBU Lead Sanofi-Genzyme (Senior Director/AVP). I don't know what to make of this one.
"The Global Diabetes Therapy Area (“TA”) Head will be responsible for leading a broad portfolio of development and marketed products in the Diabetes therapy area."
Good God. I don't know anything about that. It sounds too important, anyway. Pass.
Fixture Installer. I'm mildly intrigued. Let's see.
"Primary responsibilities of the fixture installer:
Resets consist of reading plan-o-grams (schematics, diagrams) and pulling products off the shelf.
Moving or replacing the shelving systems and re-stocking in an organized fashion.
New store installs involve setting up new fixtures and stocking shelves as needed."
Hmmm. Says I need to be able to travel up to three weeks at a time (insert game show buzzer sound). Would probably not be good for my marriage. But I just learned that "plan-o-gram" is a word. And I like it.
Personal Shopper Eastgate Marketplace. OK, I'm not a big fan of shopping, but I'll happily spend other people's money if it's worth my while. So let's take a look at this one.
"Primary responsibility is to Take Excellent Care Of Our Customers by satisfying each customer’s needs, exceeding their expectations, and making every shopping visit a pleasant and satisfying experience. Is responsible for nearly every aspect of the Personal Shopper program, from downloading internet orders to loading customer vehicles During down times, the Order Selector also performs the duties of bagger and/or cashier."
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, this sounds like a fancy way to say we'd like you to join the Harris Teeter team. This would be a step back. My first job was at a grocery store when I was 15. I'm just not ready to go back down that road. What's next?
Lactation Consultant. Um. Are you sure? 'Cause I'm not against it, but. . .
"The lactation consultant functions as a member of the health care team to promote support and protect breastfeeding by. . .assisting women to learn the skills to successfully initiate and maintain lactation and to overcome obstacles to breastfeeding, thus enhancing maternal role satisfaction."
Wait, it's based in Indianapolis. Sigh. Over and out.
I'll keep you guys posted. Take care and keep in touch.
Joe
