Rock 'n' roll, portable urinals and screaming lobsters. These are a few of my favorite things.

Hello again. I hope everyone is doing well and that you’re enjoying the holiday season. It’s safe to say that, personally, 2016 wasn’t exactly a terrific year. If I could make a Christmas wish list right now, it would include a new job, at least one week devoid of handling paperwork associated with trusts and wills, and some semblance of political stability and world peace as we enter the New Year.

Not a lot to ask, right?

Well never mind all that crap. I have a better Christmas list. I thought it would be fun to jot down a few things about the holiday season that make me smile. If anyone is reading, I hope you’ll share your own favorite memories in the comments section.

And if we don’t talk anytime soon, Happy Holidays. And be good to each other.

Stretch Armstrong. Good old Stretch. One of my first-ever Christmas gifts. Seems silly that a kid could get so much joy out of pulling the arms and legs of a doll all day, but hey, it worked. And I heard they’re still selling them after all these years. Hmm. Santa, is it too late to ask?

Christmas rock music. Everyone loves the classics by Bing Crosby, Andy Williams and the rest, and that’s OK. But give me “Father Christmas” by The Kinks. “Run Rudolph Run” by Dave Edmunds. “What Christmas Means to Me” by Stevie Wonder, and so many others. If you like the blues, check out Charlie Musselwhite’s version of Silent Night, too.

Dad assembling the Barbie motor home. I wish I still had this picture, and I think it’s in an album at my parents’ old house. It’s my Dad sitting in his favorite chair, surrounded by Barbie paraphernalia and countless plastic parts that constituted the Barbie Star Traveler Motorhome RV Camper. While the rest of us tore into our gifts, Dad sat there patiently for the better part of Christmas morning putting this thing together for my sister one year. It wasn’t an issue for him, the man was a carpenter and could fix, repair and build just about anything. I just had the sense that he would have much rather been sipping some egg nog, opening his own gifts or reading the morning paper at the time. Didn’t matter. He loved his kids and wanted to see them happy.

Jeff D. asking to go sledding on Christmas. We had snow on the ground for Christmas on many years in New England, but one particular Christmas morning it piled up nicely and didn’t stop snowing all day. That prompted an 8 a.m. phone call from a buddy down the street, who was hell-bent on going sledding. As I extracted my carcass from piles of wrapping paper and toys, I still remember picking up the phone, hearing Jeff’s request and asking him if he had lost his mind because it’s Christmas morning and I’m kind of in the middle of something. Later I remembered that Jeff was Jewish. We clearly had different priorities that day.

My wife’s Xmas cookies. They’re really good. And there’s always lots of them. Honestly, I can’t even see the back of the freezer right now, it’s packed so tightly with peanut butter balls, schnecken, Hershey’s Kiss cookies and peppermint bark. Pretty soon I won’t be able to see my feet, either, if I eat any more of this stuff.

Stocking stuffers. Sometimes, these things have even more sentimental value than the presents under the tree. Last year, I got a ticket to Bruce Springsteen, for cryin’ out loud. That was pretty awesome. And those Dunkin’ Donut gift certificates, man. Always a winner.

Wacky gifts. In high school, after we had spent time with our own family, we often spent Christmas evening with two of my good friends and their families. These were great times. And one friend’s grandmother had this incredibly wacky sense of humor. I loved this woman. She gave me a urinal one year. A portable urinal. She said I could use it in the car if I ever got stuck on a long road trip. Then she gave my buddy a mounted turkey claw with the middle finger (toe?) sticking straight up. Still makes me laugh after all these years.

Screaming lobsters. My parents always ate lobster on Christmas Eve. I never cared for it, which was surprising, because I’m a huge fan of seafood in general. But that’s beside the point. My Mom and Dad told me one year the lobsters scream when they’re placed in boiling water. I thought this was ridiculous until I heard this high-pitched hissing that emerged from the pot when one of these guys took a dip. Sufficiently freaked me out, I won’t lie. Now, as I learned later, lobsters don’t have vocal chords and technically couldn’t scream. And if you want the scientific explanation to all this, check out this little snippet I found on Chowhound.com. OK, enough about that.

Working in Florida on Christmas 2000. This isn’t exactly a fond memory. I had moved to Gainesville just after Thanksgiving that year, and I had already determined that I wouldn’t be going home for Christmas. And they don’t close for the holidays in the newspaper business, so I volunteered to work that day/night and give the other reporters a break to be with their families. Saddest Christmas ever. It wasn’t just the feeling of being alone, but driving around town in 75-degree temperatures and seeing white lights wrapped around palm trees. Argh. Gimme a break. That ain’t Christmas.

The kids on Christmas morning. I know, I know, the holiday isn’t really about the gifts. But I still get a kick out of seeing them go bonkers under the tree, checking out what Santa brought and getting completely caught up in the moment. It’s not going to last forever and I’m going to enjoy it while I can.

We can't see the future. So let's not expect the worst.

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary (please hold your applause until the end). I remember a lot of things from Nov. 11, 2006. The joy I felt from marrying the woman that I loved. The comfort I received when I looked around the room and saw all my friends and family in one spot, having a great time together. And the pain I felt in my head, thanks to staying up way too late with all those people the night before at the hotel bar.

But there was a lot of angst, too. Would I be a good husband? A good father? A good provider? My mind was really racing in those moments leading up to the ceremony, and with good reason -- there are few things more powerful than the fear of the unknown.

It's why we think twice before making a major commitment. It's why we might look at that green thing on our dinner plate and suddenly feel full. And it's why a kid who was always scared of dogs had absolutely no interest in getting one last year.

Well, that certainly worked out OK.

You know where I'm going with all this, right? Many people are scared right now for the future of our country. And I'm not writing this to tell people how to feel, but I want you to consider something: fears are often unfounded. I can't predict what will happen tomorrow, next month or a year from now, but I do know that we need to take a deep breath and keep our heads.

I kept thinking about the 2008 election this week. There was a sizable portion of our population that feared the worst, remember? To recap: he'll be a job-killer, he'll take away our guns, his tax policies will destroy the economy and cause everyone to stop spending money, to name a few.

Well, let's review. November 2016 marked the 73rd straight month of job growth and the economy continues to expand, albeit at a slow pace. Hmmm. Not bad.

Next, the guns. Here's some interesting data from the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. These are the number of firearms processed from applications each year since 2008.

Fiscal Year	Firearms Processed
2015	1,426,211
2014	1,383,677
2013	1,152,163
2012	1,112,041
2011	992,975
2010	828,462
2009	834,328
2008	981,303

OK. Sure doesn't look like people lost their guns. If anything, they probably found some more.

Finally, the taxes and economy. Here's a snippet from a recent Baltimore Sun article:

"President Barack Obama's 2013 tax increases for wealthy Americans neither slowed their income growth nor hurt the economy, according to a study that taps into a key debate in the current presidential race. The top 1 percent of earners managed to increase their share of the nation's income at about the same pace after their taxes were raised as they had before, according to the study.

"Other data points appear to support the study's conclusion: Employers added 5.8 million jobs in 2014 and 2015 — the strongest two-year growth since the late 1990s. And income for the typical household jumped last year by the most since records began in 1967, according to the Census Bureau. That increase followed years of stagnation."

You know what? I laughed at all those people who said the world would end in 2008. And now I've got some facts to back me up here, which is kinda cool.

So should we be so quick to assume that we're headin' for Armageddon in 2016? I say no.

Hey, I'm as disappointed as anyone with what happened this week. I'm not delusional, as some guy called me on a Washington Post forum. And I am NOT defending the actions or beliefs of the man who won this election.

You know what I do believe? That not all of his supporters are "deplorables." And that we live in a system of checks and balances, and that I'd be shocked if the president-elect could actually pull off 90 percent of the things he promised to do during the campaign.

So think about what's good in your lives and how that will not change. And please don't assume the worst as we all move forward. It won't get us anywhere.

It's a good day

I have tried to avoid politics on this blog. It goes without saying that this whole election process (is it really over today?) has split the country in two, and I'm so tired of the hate being spewed from both sides of the aisle.

No matter which way you lean politically, though, it's a good day. Just try to shut out the noise for a few hours and remember that our country -- imperfect as it may be -- is a damn fine place to live. I think many people forget that. If we don't like the way things work, we're free to shout out our objections and cast a vote for somebody who will champion our cause. A lot of people in this world don't even have that luxury.

Election Day always makes me think of my Dad and what he stood for as an American. To take pride in your country, to treat everyone with respect and to always lend a hand to those in need. When I was 17 and approaching my eligibility to vote, I pulled him aside one day and asked him which party I should support at the polls.

And, as usual, the answer came straight between the eyes from a lifelong Democrat.

"Joe, you're your own man. I can't tell you how to vote. But I will tell you one thing. The Republican Party never did a goddamn thing for the working man. You remember that."

Amen.

I'm only sharing that because it's a funny story, at least for me. It's not meant to disparage those with opposing views. Hell, many of my best friends are lifelong Republicans. But our politics don't define us. They don't get between us, and they don't interfere with what matters most in our lives.

I think a lot of people forget that, too. We're more alike than we realize. No matter what happens today, I hope all this bullshit and vitriol can subside for a while. It's not good for anyone, whether you're a Democrat, Republican, independent, or anyone who gives a damn about our fine country.

Oh, and if you need another reason to smile, you should check this out when you get a chance: https://www.tellamericaitsgreat.com/

Talk to you soon.

Cruising

That's the Alps, somewhere over northern Italy. Cruising altitude. 36,000 feet in the air and not a care in the world. I think this is what it should feel like when you're a kid, although I often remind my children that nothing worthwhile in life comes easy. They need to work for what they want, whether it's a good grade, a chance at scoring a goal in soccer or earning the respect of others.

I mention this because my son had a semi-rough day at school today. He got a note home from his teacher urging him to pay better attention in class. Then he forgot (?) he had homework to do after school, but still managed to squeeze in his soccer practice and some time playing with Legos before Dad discovered the math assignment in his backpack. The rule in the house is homework first, with very few exceptions, before playtime can be had.

So we had a little chat tonight about taking responsibility and getting focused. This has been one of the hardest parts of parenting for me. Knowing when to bear down and knowing when to just let them be kids and have some fun. I know there's a balance in there somewhere, but it's often difficult to find. And after days like today, you worry that they're cruising a little too much.

And after I tucked him in, I realized I need to heed my own advice. I've been bitching about my job for well over a year and getting nowhere with my search for a new gig. It hasn't been for lack of effort, but now I'm starting to wonder if a little attitude adjustment wouldn't help me in the interim. I think I should stop cruising through most days just because I don't care about the work I'm doing.

Maybe I need to take some responsibility and get better focused on what's in front of me, too. I'll keep you posted.

Italia

Perhaps my biggest regret at this point in my life is that I haven't traveled enough beyond our country's borders. I can partially chalk it up to the fact that I spent nearly 15 years living on journalist's wages, and when I did have any vacation time during that period, I used whatever I had for friends' weddings, family gatherings, holidays, and the like.

When I got older and (a little) more financially secure, it was marriage and kids that ruled the day. Kind of tough to think about a lengthy overseas trip when you're worried about paying the bills each month with additional mouths to feed. The point is, there never seemed to be the right time to hop on a plane and explore a faraway destination.

That's what made these past couple of weeks very special for me. I spent 10 days in Italy with my lovely wife by my side. It's hard to find the words to describe it. I mean, you can fill in the blanks (the food, the wine, the views, the history. . .the wine. . .wait, I already mentioned that), but the timing couldn't have been more perfect. I've spent the last four years struggling to cope with my parents' illnesses and deaths, and I finally had some time to. . .breathe.

I won't brag on it any longer, because that's not what I'm about. I'll let the pictures do the talking. Ciao, friends. Talk to you soon.

Profiles Encourage: Tanya

Hello again, everyone. Today we're talking with Tanya. She's a talented researcher and an expert at curling (the sport, not the hair. Although I'm sure she's very good at that, too). We have worked together for several years and she occasionally laughs at my jokes, so that makes her an excellent judge of character and quite smart, in my opinion.

Take it away, Tanya.

Hi Tanya. Let’s start with some basics. Tell me a little bit about your life. Where do you live and what do you do?

I'm a mother of a two-year-old girl, wife of an awesome husband who cooks me dinner every night and washes the dishes. I feel like I put on an act sometimes, but he is genuine, has no filter and is funny. I find it very refreshing, and while sometimes, OK often, I feel he takes things too far, more often I wish I could be as honest as he is.

Where I work matters less to me than what I do. I work at a non-profit membership association for HR professionals, but I have never been in HR and it's not my interest. I am a survey researcher. I like designing surveys, learning things about people and analyzing data. My job allows me independence, variety, flexibility and has good benefits and decent pay. Plus I've got some pretty great co-workers.

I live in Maryland, a suburb of D.C. and work in Virginia. It's a conflicting place to live. Nice parks, green areas, a river, hiking, close enough to take a beach weekend, tons of great restaurants, entertainment, art, and lots of friends here plus some family (in-laws). But I'm a Wisconsinite, so the traffic, entitled folk, politics and sheer number of people is not so desirable.

Now tell me a little bit about your background. What is your heritage? Where does your family come from? Do you have roots outside of the United States?

I grew up in a small city of 20,000 people in central Wisconsin. It was a unique population because we had a large clinic and hospital with a research center. So we had a large number of doctors in the town. Almost all of my close friends in high school had a parent who was a doctor. My mother is a musician, teacher and stayed at home to raise me and my three brothers. My father is a small business owner selling feed and seed to farmers.

Both of them grew up in Wisconsin and earned college degrees. My maternal grandparents also went to college in Wisconsin, my Grandma teaching English and my grandpa still known as "the Judge" at 100 years old in his town. My grandpa was also a pilot, taking us on flights in his Cessna when I was a kid. He was trained in the military, and went on bombing missions to Berlin until his plane was shot down and was captured as a POW.

My father grew up on a farm and his father worked for the postal service after serving in the Aleutian Alaskan islands in WWII. He remembers hearing Danish being spoken by his grandparents. But my heritage is very mixed as my relatives have been in the U.S. for many generations. A smattering of Danish, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, Norwegian, English, Swiss and possibly others. But certainly I'm very white with blond hair, though my mom had dark brown hair. I remember eating lefsa as a Christmas tradition, but otherwise nothing seemed very reminiscent of a foreign culture.

Is there something about you – a physical characteristic, a personality trait, an aspect of your job or any part of your life – that is frequently misunderstood by people? If so, please tell me about it and what you would say to dispel that misunderstanding. 

Rather than being misunderstood, I feel I am perceived as always being in a good mood even when I'm not. Probably not a bad thing, but on my worst day, a stranger might stop me and ask for directions. Can't you see the scowl on my face!? I think, but alas they make me realize it must not be so bad. One of my high school friends once told me, "Tanya, everyone likes you!"

Let’s flip that around now. Tell me about a time you learned more about somebody – or something – after looking a little deeper, beyond the superficial.

One of my good friends started dating this guy, and when I first met him, I was like, really? What do you see in this guy? He is so childish, but as I got to know him I realized he was a great guy and just liked to have a good time. I think he was really more mature than we all were and knew who he was and what was important to him. He certainly didn't care what others thought about him. They are still together several years later and I can see why.

What really drives you? What’s your reason for getting out of bed every day?

I'm a morning person and like to get out of bed and start the day. I feel like the morning is the most important part of the day and determines how the rest will go. I guess I'm driven by accomplishment. I wake up thinking about what I will get done that day and feel bad if I don't meet my goals.

I'm not driven by my job, other than I need the money and want to get my work done. I'm driven by my daughter and want to spend time with her before I go to work. Otherwise it's just habit and human nature. I would like it to be more, but honestly it's not at this point in my life. But I'm OK with that.

Tell me about a difficult period in your life, how you coped with it and how it made you stronger.

I don't feel like I've had many difficulties in my life. I guess I've gone through depression, but I feel many people have. It's hard to remember since it has been over five years ago. Medication probably helped and I learned to recognize my thoughts and signs before I slipped into depression.

It was a pretty amazing feeling when I recognized harmful thoughts and nipped them in the bud. Luckily it has not returned, but I feel very aware if it were to try and come back.

We all know there’s no shortage of bad news out there. Now tell me what gives you hope and what’s good about the world.

What gives me hope is that life is short and I have no idea what comes after death. Therefore live life to the fullest. I also have great friends who remind me of what great people there are and we far outnumber the not so good people. My master's degree in positive psychology has taught me to be grateful.

Let’s have a little fun here. Tell me about your worst job. And if you haven’t had one, tell me about the most interesting one.

My most interesting job was milking cows. I had no experience so they trained me. I helped a cow birth a calf and chased an escapee in the dark. Not a long-term job, but interesting for a summer.

Now let’s talk about music. I need it every day. In the car, at the gym, in the kitchen, you name it. Tell me what you like and when you need to hear it.

I love music, but it also pains me that I no longer play an instrument. I used to play violin, trombone and some piano. I loved it but no longer play. I still have my violin and bought a guitar, but don't really play either.

I sing to my daughter a lot in hopes she will love music, but I do hope to get back into performing some day. Music helps me work. I can focus better with it on in the background. I like a diverse type, but my favorite is indie rock. Give me some Sonic Youth.

Thanks, Tanya. Did we miss anything? Anything you’d like to add?

My passion is helping other people. I wanted to be a teacher once and was a life coach for several years. So if you are looking for someone to listen and direction in life, please reach out to me.

Goodbye, stranger

Katherine died Sept. 6, 2016 at the age of 75. My Mom was a secretary, a homemaker, a volunteer, a ball-buster. She taught me how to ride a bike, how to cook and how to use the laundry machine when she got tired of dealing with my smelly socks. She took me to all those practices and games for my baseball and basketball teams. And she waited up all those nights when I was out on the town and up to no good.

Above all, she loved her husband, her two children, her daughter-in-law and her two grandchildren. Here she is on my wedding day. She looks very happy, and who could blame her?

But that woman I knew was not the woman who died alone in a nursing home bed last week. That was somebody else, beaten down by three-plus years of sorrow after my Dad's death. When Dad passed on in March 2013, Mom's depression set in. We tried so hard to get her out of the house, to get her to remember what was still good in her life. But she wasn't having any of it.

After a pair of brief stints in short-term care facilities, the dementia started. Mom couldn't be alone at the house where I was raised -- where I'm sitting right now and typing this up -- and she had to be moved into an assisted living complex. Communication came in fits and starts. One-word sentences, punctuated by stuttering and occasional anger toward whoever was in the room at the time. I called her on the phone one time and she said she didn't want to talk to me, and hung up. I don't know if that was the sickness taking its toll on her, and it doesn't really matter. I just know that it hurt. A lot.

This went on for a couple of years. Then she fell and broke her hip this past spring, had emergency surgery and was placed in a different facility where she refused to do her rehab and refused to take her meds. That's where she died last week, unrecognizable to those who cared and loved for her after all these years.

That's not how I want to remember her, but goddammit, I'm mad right now. I want to know why she gave up. Why she decided that life wasn't worth living. Why she didn't get help when it was there for her.

I keep telling myself that this should be a relief. She's where she wants to be, right by Dad's side in Village Cemetery in Old Wethersfield. Truthfully, I haven't been the same since Dad died, either. I learned he had cancer about a month after my 40th birthday. I was there in the room at the hospital with my parents when the doctor said that Dad had between nine months to a year left to live.

There's been a cloud up here in my little hometown for these past four years. It's affected me in ways I cannot describe and I pray to God it hasn't harmed my marriage or the way my children look at their Dad.

I'm going back to Virginia tomorrow and I'm going to try and make sense of all this. I've spent the last week making funeral arrangements, rifling through paperwork, meeting with attorneys and handing out copies of death certificates. I'm fucking tired right now, pure and simple.

I'll never be able to repay you for all you did for me, Mom. I'll always love you. But it didn't have to end like that. So I'm going to stay mad for a while and try to remember what was good. Rest in peace.

Love,

Joey

Back to school

It's Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer. We're batting .500 on the enthusiasm scale among the kiddos. My daughter was ready to roll last week and cannot wait to start first grade. She's kinda like this right now:

My son. . .not so much. I can't say that I blame him. I'm sorry to see summer go, too. Even after all these years away from the classroom, I still get a little bummed out at the end of this weekend. One last day at the pool and then it's back to business.

That being said, I've compiled a short list of pros and cons regarding the first day of school. Here goes.

Pro: Kids get some time apart. This one is really, REALLY important. They had six weeks of camp together and another two weeks at a home child care in the neighborhood. They've really had enough of each other. Guys, go to your neutral corners, for Christ's sake.

Con: Prepping lunches five nights a week. A lot of people will tell me to let the kids buy lunch every day and this problem is solved, but come on. Number one, it's extra money. Number two, I've seen some of the stuff they're eating in the cafeteria. It's not bad, but let me tell you, it won't win any awards. We caved last year and let them buy lunch once or twice a week, but I won't do more than that. Can't do that to my kids. So it's time to suck it up and start brown bagging it once again. 

Pro: Making new friends. We've only been in this neighborhood for two years, and we're still getting to know everyone. There's also a heavy concentration of military families here, so we've already lost some friends (and consequently, so have the kids). New school year means new faces.

Con: Homework. Duh. Like this one needs an explanation.

Pro: Learning new things. This is different from homework, trust me. Homework is a chore, something that has to be done before soccer practice, etc. I'm talking about when the kids come home from school and tell us what they've learned. Granted, this exercise can be like extracting teeth from a honey badger, but when they really feel like talking and are completely psyched about a new subject, it's kinda fun to watch.

Con: Increased traffic and the constant reminder that so many people who live in our area think they're the only ones on the road and aren't averse to swerving around kids at crosswalks just so they can get to the damn office. I know, that was a long one. But it's true. It really pays to look both ways.

Thanks for listening. Talk to you soon.

This is harder than I thought

I don't know if Hemingway actually said that. But it was hanging in a bar that I visited in Chicago a few years ago and it made me laugh. And I actually thought about it when I sat down at the computer just now.

No, I'm not drunk. I've just realized that it's hard to keep posting to the blog on a regular basis. There are some days that I just don't have a lot to say. I guess I'm also afraid of sharing too much or writing about things that nobody cares to read.

I haven't given up on this yet, but if there's anyone out there who has their own blog (and I know there are a few of you who do), give me some advice. Tell me when it's your favorite time to write and what inspires you to saddle up to the keyboard.

If anyone else has any suggestions, lay them on me in the comments section. I will talk to you soon. Or I might not. I've got four kids over the house right now and there's a cacophony of screams and video game beeps bouncing off these four walls.

Maybe Hemingway was right. I sure could use a drink.

Profiles Encourage: Amanda

Hello again, everyone. Today we're talking with Amanda. We used to work together in the newspaper business. When you needed a laugh, an 80s music or movie reference, or a piece of candy, you went to Amanda's desk. No questions asked.

She's done a ton of profiles for the Washington Post and other news outlets, and I hope she enjoyed being on the other side of this process for a change. Take it away, Amanda.

Hi Amanda. Let’s start with some basics. Tell me a little bit about your life. Where do you live and what do you do?

I live in Bailey’s Crossroads, Virginia. I am a massage therapist at the Teal Center for Therapeutic Bodywork. I actually found them about 17 years ago, because I needed therapeutic work after I broke my leg. So I was a client for a while, and now I’ve worked with them for five years. It’s a clinic, not a spa. It’s injury rehabilitation and pain management.

Before that, I was an editor and a writer. Editing was my full-time job and writing was my freelance job. I have always had freelance jobs when I’ve wanted to scratch a different itch.

Now tell me a little bit about your background. What is your heritage? Where does your family come from? Do you have roots outside of the United States?

I have no idea. It’s because my family seems so very small. It was small to begin with, and then it got cleaved in half. My mother is one of three kids, they were two girls and a boy. I have three cousins from her side. My father was an only child, and he was much older than my Mom. He was born in 1920 or something like that. I didn’t have any cousins on my Dad's side. My dad died when I was six.

I have not really gotten curious about it because I didn’t think I was starting with a lot of branches. I’m pretty sure I’m German, my grandma’s name was Hamburg. I don’t know a lot about my Dad’s side, which is really weird.

When people ask me about my heritage, I tell them I’m from the country. Maybe because of the contrast of where I am now. I grew up in rural America, southern Indiana. Born in a town across the river from Louisville, Kentucky. When my Dad died, we moved out to farmland. There was no four-way stop in this town, and maybe 1,500 people. All the towns nearby went to one high school. Everybody’s parents were either farmers, teachers or worked at a plant.

Is there something about you – a physical characteristic, a personality trait, an aspect of your job or any part of your life – that is frequently misunderstood by people? If so, please tell me about it and what you would say to dispel that misunderstanding.

I think people think I’m too skinny, and therefore they judge me completely about my physical size. And the word that sometimes follows skinny is “bitch” and it’s just not true. Or they think I’m sick. I feel like a have to dispel a bunch of things from the get-go. Everybody has to do that with their size if they’re a woman.

I wish I didn’t have to think about it so much. I’m so much more than whatever you just tagged me as. And if you didn’t just tag me as something, I love you. I get lots of assumptions about being from a small town, too. “You’re uneducated, you’re a redneck,” stuff like that.

Let’s flip that around now. Tell me about a time you learned more about somebody – or something – after looking a little deeper, beyond the superficial.

It happens all the time. I work at a place that demands that you make no assumptions. It’s been a good exercise. Here’s a good example. You cannot honk at anyone in a hospital parking garage. You know why? You have no idea what they just learned. Is their cancer back? Is their mother dying? Did they break their leg? Did they just have a baby? They’re probably not thinking about their car or how slowly they’re driving. You can extrapolate that to all of life. Don’t make any assumptions about what anyone is going through. It’s not easy. And if you can’t do kindness, practice patience.

What really drives you? What’s your reason for getting out of bed every day?

So much of our life falls into routine, you don’t have to think about why you’re getting up. You gotta get your run in, take the dog to the doctor, get to work. All those things land on your head when you wake up. And that sucks. Wouldn’t it be nice to wake up and say, “Why am I getting up today?”

The older you get, the harder it is. What drives me, in a more existential way, I just want to connect with people. It’s trite, but you can never empathize with somebody unless you’ve made some kind of connection, I don’t care how small it is. I’ve had to work on it, because my old job made it easy. I got paid to talk to people and make connections.

A lot of that comes from living so far out in the middle of nowhere and having a small family. I’ve never felt like I was part of a big family. If you can find connections, it makes things a whole lot better. With my job, I have to listen, and I have to appropriately respond to it. If there’s a woman who’s holding a baby in one hand and on the phone with the other, she’s got a lot goin’ on! I need to understand where people are coming from.

Tell me about a difficult period in your life, how you coped with it and how it made you stronger.

Recently, I had two back-to-back injuries. First my hip went out, and then I had a foot injury. Basically, it hurt to be standing up. I’m very active, my job is active, so the things I do all day long I couldn’t do without being in pain. And I’m supposed to be there to help other people with their pain.

Nothing was as raw and lonely and low as not being able to do the things that make you who you are. Add to that the physical pain, which brings its own type of stress, and the lack of social engagement. I was just with my thoughts, and it was effing uncomfortable. I just felt low. I got through by asking for help.

It’s stupid that people are hesitant to ask for help. Why would I think I was the only one who could help me through that? So I found a new doctor, talked to a therapist, took time off from work, rested and recovered. The hardest part was getting through the day without the routine. And I talked a lot to my husband and took a lot of comfort with my dog. I had to just plod through and have patience.

We all know there’s no shortage of bad news out there. Now tell me what gives you hope and what’s good about the world.

The fact that you and I are doing this. That’s what is good about the world. People can get together and talk without worrying that a bomb is going off in our front yard, and not worry if they’ll be able to eat that day. We take so much for granted in this country. Also, I don’t have kids, but they’re so much better than we are. They like people that look differently from them, they see meanness and they call it out.

The planet makes me hopeful. The level that the planet adapts to what we’re doing to it, there’s science, or God, or something out there that’s keeping things going. And laughter! It’s such a release. If you feel so moved to just laugh out loud, it’s such a release from everything else that was hurting you.

Let’s have a little fun here. Tell me about your worst job. And if you haven’t had one, tell me about the most interesting one.

I’ve had two worst jobs. They’re tied. I’ve worked since I was 15. My most recent awful job was editing for the Associated Press. Nobody was friendly with each other. The whole place felt very territorial. I never felt like anything I said was valid to others. The work itself wasn’t terrible, but what sucked was the feeling that nobody was on your side.

My second-worst job was, I sold hot dogs in the town square of Corydon, Indiana. That was the first state capital of Indiana, and it was a “tourist destination.” I sat there all day long and sold hot dogs from a cart. No one ever came! They weren’t roasted, they were boiled. And I couldn’t go anywhere. If I had to go pee, I had to close everything down! I did that for a whole summer.

Now let’s talk about music. I need it every day. In the car, at the gym, in the kitchen, you name it. Tell me what you like and when you need to hear it.

I definitely need to hear it when I’m by myself. I don’t spend a lot of time by myself, but just the other day, I was alone at home and doing light chores and I needed to hear it. I also need it when I need to cry. I also need it when I work. I also love to dance. I need music to come on every now and then that reminds that I can still lose myself dancing. I need to do that more.

My husband loves music, and we love the same 80s hair band music, and I need that when I want to feel like a kid again. I met Robert in Chicago, not the type of place where people talk about Whitesnake and Motley Crue. I guarantee you that was part of the attraction for me. He started to see me in a different way. I also like music when I want to feel naughty. Any kind of R ‘n’ B.

Thanks Amanda. Did we miss anything? Anything you’d like to add?

I’m so glad you’re doing this, Joe. When I did it for a living, it felt so good. It gave me the confidence to become a massage therapist. I miss that rush after a good interview. You’re like, “Yeah! That person is a person just like me!” There’s nothing like that.

Dinner conversation

We eat meals together as a family as often as possible in this house. It's a great time for everyone to talk and get caught up. 

But I gotta tell ya, after this brief exchange with my son at dinner last night, perhaps a new approach is in order.

Matthew: So Dad, what were your favorite toys and TV shows when you were a kid?

Me: Well, Matthew, I. . 

Matthew: No, wait, I didn't mean TV shows. Because they didn't have televisions when you were growing up. So what was your favorite toy?

Me:

Matthew: Dad?

Me: Just eat your dinner.

Profiles Encourage: Piper

Hello again, everyone. Today we're talking with Piper. We used to work together and she's now out in Oregon. She's had an amazing time as of late. She drove cross-country and then spent several weeks overseas in Turkey (you can read about it in her blog that she shamelessly plugs below).

She is also one of the people who inspired me to get off my butt and start writing for fun, and I am very grateful to her for that. I think she has an excellent story to tell. And there's a Barry Manilow reference in here, which is awesome. Take it away, Piper.

Hi Piper! Let’s start with some basics. Tell me a little bit about your life. Where do you live and what do you do?

Well I lived the last 20 years in the D.C. metro area and have been on a nomadic adventure for the past year. My current “perch pad” is southwestern Oregon in a town called North Bend. I am a self-employed contractor/consultant involved with project management, software implementations/configurations, technical writing, data analysis and process mapping.

I also have been blogging for the past year about my travels to share my lessons learned, about the amazing people I’ve met and the discovery of insights into my own humanity (shameless blog plug https://pipesadventure.wordpress.com). Wow….this is hard defining “what you do." It’s easier to define what I don’t do. I don’t do BORING. Oh, and I have one daughter who is a grown adult, I’m happily divorced and on good terms with my ex, I’m happy in my single-ness and would consider a committed relationship if the right human is revealed.

Now tell me a little bit about your background. What is your heritage? Where does your family come from? Do you have roots outside of the United States?

I was born in Portland Oregon, but my birth mother’s family heritage is from Norway. I still have many relatives living there and have a family reunion that my aunt attends. It’s on my list of places to visit! I say “birth mother” because I’m adopted and the family who raised me are not my blood relations.

I met my birth mother about 10 years ago. I was only five days old at the time of my adoption, so I have no memory of her. I have not met my birth father yet. My parents (my adopted family) raised me in southwestern Oregon, a wonderful little town called Coquille, about 20 miles from where I am staying now. Their heritage is from England/Ireland/Scotland, and according to my cousin it was during the colonization of the Americas.

Is there something about you – a physical characteristic, a personality trait, an aspect of your job or any part of your life – that is frequently misunderstood by people? If so, please tell me about it and what you would say to dispel that misunderstanding.

One of the aspects of my personality I need to explain often is my INTROVERSION. I’m an introvert! Being an introvert doesn’t mean you don’t like people, you can, sometimes you even do! However, it takes energy to be around people and I need times of solitude to restore those reserves. Some people think that I’m lonely or that it’s sad to be alone. Believe me, it is NOT! I need it just as much as I need oxygen.

Let’s flip that around now. Tell me about a time you learned more about somebody – or something – after looking a little deeper, beyond the superficial.

Oh yes! I am constantly amazed at people! I meet these beautiful creatures wherever I go. One of the many that comes to mind is a woman I stayed with as my Airbnb host during a 4-month cross-country trip. She shared her story of being sent into the wild when she was just a teenager with a pot and two blankets. A pot and two blankets!!! Talk about putting some of my troubled past in perspective. And here was this amazing, brilliant, loving human who went through survival in the wild. I fell in love with her. I fall in love a lot while I’m on travel, hearing endless incredible stories.

What really drives you? What’s your reason for getting out of bed every day?

Haha! That’s easy….LIFE!!! Okay, life AND ice cream! I find life totally fascinating. I love seeing what there is OUT THERE, and appreciating what is RIGHT HERE. Last week I went to my first city council meeting. I had an absolute blast. I took three pages of notes and talked with people both before and after the meeting. Public meetings are a great way to get a pulse on your community issues and desires. I don’t know why more people don’t attend. Maybe I’ll start my own movement!

Tell me about a difficult period in your life, how you coped with it and how it made you stronger.

This is another area where I’m misunderstood by people. I’m a positive person. And people often misunderstand and think that I’ve always been positive and that things have always been easy. It hasn’t. I feel like I’ve lived multiple lifetimes in the skin I’m in - including many years of deep depression and a point of seriously considering suicide. I was at the top of a long, steep stairwell and was deciding to throw myself over. One good crack on my head and it would be done. I can feel myself there as I talk about it now.

What people don’t understand is the feeling of complete and suffocating hopelessness that comes with depression. It is very physical and there is no way of getting out. The only thing that stopped me that night was the thought that “with my luck, I’d survive”. If it had been a guaranteed out, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.

Everyone’s pain and joy is unique to them. Even if you’ve come from similar experiences, you haven’t walked in THOSE shoes. I think understanding that is key to who I am. I can’t really talk about how I coped with or even overcame that dark time because it is still part of me. I don’t even think it is something that needs fixed. Sometimes I’ve had to go even deeper and darker before I could look for light. 

I had a spouse who was supportive and helped to bring my depression into the open, I did go to therapy and counseling. I took medication. I read a lot of books. I worked on identifying my behaviors and triggers. I confronted people who were involved. I took a long time, spending time alone, and looking at my self – the starring role in our life is our self and I needed to look at my own responsibility in the role I played. I expressed myself and my emotions through art. I am not "fixed." I continue to grow and change. I take time for myself. I put myself first. Whew! I think I need a nap before I can go on. This was very heavy for me.

We all know there’s no shortage of bad news out there. Now tell me what gives you hope and what’s good about the world.

“You can always see what you focus on,” this is a philosophy I live by. So I focus on the good, the positive, the inspirational, the “succulence of life!” I see it all around me everyday - from smiles of the road workers, to the blooms of dandelions (dandelions are wonderfully edible weeds). I am very selective and surround myself with people who are positive forces and who inspire me. Last year I eliminated 90% of my possessions, removing “clutter” from my life and making sure that the possessions I choose to keep are ones that bring me joy and happiness.

Let’s have a little fun here. Tell me about your worst job. And if you haven’t had one, tell me about the most interesting one.

Let’s see, my WORST job would probably involve waiting tables. I am lucky that I’ve only had to do this type of job a couple times in my life so far. For an introvert, this is EXHAUSTING, always having to be “on” with a smile and a chipper “can do” attitude. On my days off I would lock myself in my room, sleep and not smile AT ALL. When friends saw me out they would comment about how I never smiled. Sheesh! Who has the energy?! I marvel at people who can do it, or actually THRIVE in it. My daughter is one of these incredible beings.

Now let’s talk about music. I need it every day. In the car, at the gym, in the kitchen, you name it. Tell me what you like and when you need to hear it. 

Hmmm. Music is a bit of a challenge for me. I like music, but I’m not a person who can listen to music all the time, anywhere. I love music when I’m out dancing (kind of a requirement for dancing) and then I’m a full blown 80’s hair band rocker. Or when I’m at home and relaxing or napping I love listening to blues, jazz, chanting-meditation-rainwater music.

When I’ve driving in the car I’m more of a book-on-CD person as music tends to stress me out a bit and I become an aggressive driver. It doesn’t matter what kind of music. Barry Manilow could stress me out. If someone else is driving, I can listen to any music! When I’m reading or doing computer work, I usually prefer silence as I’m easily distracted.

Thanks Piper. Did we miss anything? Anything you’d like to add?

Favorite movie – Harold and Maude. Favorite cuisine – Thai. I’m passionate about foraging for wild, edible plants and berries. And Joe, you know I could talk for days about traveling – where, when, how, why. Right now I’m concentrating on the state of Oregon and all of the little known gem locations that are out there. 

Most people think of Oregon for its green forests and rocky coastlines, but much of the state is desert at a high elevation called “high desert” (central to eastern Oregon) or there is little notice about the southwestern areas of the state. You know it’s about the same as Virginia. Each of us has the capacity to curiously explore the very place we live in, yet how many actually do?

Play time

There are a lot of benefits to being a parent. But you know what really tops the list on most days? You get to be a goofball. It's a great excuse to crack dumb jokes or make a ridiculous drawing, and the kids laugh their butts off.

Or you can empty out your son's toy boxes, get on the floor and really go hog wild. We called this the Battle of the Army Men and the Football Dinosaurs. What a great way to end the day. And oh, the dinosaurs won. It wasn't even close.

Reunions, Pt. II

"Remember the time when. . ."

That's how a lot of conversations started last weekend at the college reunion in Connecticut. And that made me pretty happy, especially because we recently talked here about the benefits of looking back once in a while.

On the first night, we joked that it felt a lot like our first day back at school each year. On those days, we would return to the dorms (or the apartments) and spend several hours reminiscing, getting caught up and hoisting many, many drinks as we rang in the new school year. This time around, we also scanned a couple of old photo albums that I brought along -- dude, what were you thinking here, and hey, you really were skinny at one point in your life, etc. -- and talked a lot about our jobs and our families.

We cranked some Pearl Jam, Black Crowes and Blues Traveler, filled our bellies with grilled food and enjoyed good beer and wine. And we had a little R 'n' R at the beach.

Aaaahhhhhh. That's the stuff.

After 25-plus years, we've taken many different paths. This crew includes a physician's assistant, a state marshal, a school administrator, a health care controller, a corporate vice president, a pharmaceutical consultant, an electrician and a workforce analyst.

But in many ways, we're quite the same. We're all dads. We're providers, and good husbands. And none of us can believe we're all still married. It's not that we're opposed to the institution. It's more like, how are the wives still putting up with our nonsense? Ladies, if you're reading, please don't answer that.

We used to joke in college -- when we were, ahem, thoroughly enjoying our youth -- that if we made it to 40, anything after that would be a bonus. Now we're all there. We're at that mid-40s point of life where we realize we are truly blessed, and yet, some of us feel like there should be something more out there. You can make a mid-life crisis comment here if you want. It's OK.

But as I'm going through this period of introspection, writing this blog, trying to make things right with my job and my life in Virginia and my family in Connecticut, it's just good to know I'm not alone.

I love ya, boys. Let's do it again soon.

Profiles Encourage: Rue

Hello everyone. Today we're talking with Rue. We have worked together for the past several years, and he's a stand-up comedian in his spare time. Which explains why we have sat around and had so many laughs at the office when we're really supposed to be doing work. Take it away, Rue.

Hi Rue. Let’s start with some basics. Tell me a little bit about your life. Where do you live and what do you do?

I live in Maryland and I work with a non-profit association as an expert in my field.

Now tell me a little bit about your background. What is your heritage? Where does your family come from, and do you have roots outside of the United States?

I am a black man of the African Diaspora, surviving offspring of the trans-Atlantic slave trade. My family is from Jamaica, West Indies.

Is there something about you – a physical characteristic, a personality trait, an aspect of your job or any part of your life – that is frequently misunderstood by people? If so, please tell me about it and what you would say to dispel that misunderstanding.

I don’t know whether there is anything about me that is frequently misunderstood. My overbite makes people think I am unattractive, but they are wrong. I am gorgeous! I think the fact that I perform on stages in front of small and large groups and do a good job at public speaking, many presume I am extroverted. I’m not. I don’t dispel it. I let them think whatever.

Let’s flip that around now. Tell me about a time you learned more about somebody – or something – after looking a little deeper, beyond the superficial.

Depending on what “superficial” is, I tend to talk to most people about more than the superficial. There’s always a story there. I don’t really remember stuff though so I can’t recall a specific time. Well, there was the one time…a coworker opened up to me about her sister who died from Lupus. We developed a bond.

What really drives you? What’s your reason for getting out of bed every day?

I am driven by curiosity, faith and responsibility. God gets me out of bed everyday, because there’s a purpose for my existence. I am curious to see what is gonna happen next. The world is full of surprises. The hope, the chance that stuff can get better is quite a motivator!

Tell me about a difficult period in your life, how you coped with it and how it made you stronger.

Probably the most difficult time in my life is when my baby brother died. I felt like I lost a part of myself. I have not completely recovered. I’m not sure it made me stronger, but it did teach me endurance and compassion.

We all know there’s no shortage of bad news out there. Now tell me what gives you hope and what’s good about the world.

What gives me hope is faith – the belief that this time, this season, this world is not all there is and that I can create eternal impact. Also, children give me hope. I believe they too have purpose.

Let’s have a little fun here. Tell me about your worst job. And if you haven’t had one, tell me about the most interesting one.

My worse job was…ummm…well they’ve all been pretty good. I guess the hardest one was when I was 16 and worked in an electric supply warehouse. It was a summer job. 8.5 hours a day! Four dollars an hour. Blue collar work, all day every day. Loading and unloading 18-wheelers, cutting wire, poles, cable. Stocking, un-stocking, NO AIR CONDITIONING all summer. I was dirty, hot, sweaty and tired every day after work when I boarded the Metrobus to go home. No one wanted to sit next to the dirty kid in the back of the bus. It taught me that I wasn’t made for this kind of work. I had to use my mind. It reinforced what I already knew: I’m going to college.

Now let’s talk about music. I need it every day. In the car, at the gym, in the kitchen, you name it. Tell me what you like and when you need to hear it.

Music heals, calms, excites, stimulates, educates, soothes, and entertains. When I don’t hear music, I make music. I rap! Eighties rap, though. Old. I need primarily reggae and gospel, and everything else, just in smaller doses.

Thanks Rue. Did we miss anything? Anything you’d like to add?

I’m getting married! She’s great. I hope I make her real happy.

Reunions, Pt. 1

I've always said that you should not forget where you came from. Even if your childhood or your teens or twenties were less than desirable, you need to hang onto whatever heartache or adversity came out of that and learn from it. At the same time, you celebrate the positives and you remember what's been good.

I mention this because I'm in the midst of an interesting stretch of summer. Last weekend, I joined my wife at her 25th high school reunion in Minnesota. Now, playing the role of tag-along-spouse might not sound like the greatest gig, but hell, who doesn't appreciate $1.50 drafts at the American Legion Hall? And I like meeting people. Take this guy, for instance.

This is Bob. And Bob was the only other husband with the guts to show up at this reunion among my wife's group of friends. As you can imagine, Bob don't give a damn. He even packed this shirt in his wife's purse. Ducked into the men's room, Superman-style, and emerged wearing it with a big smile on his face. You might argue with his taste in clothes, but we were there for the same reason -- our wives wanted to spend an evening remembering where they came from, and boy, did they.

Maybe they needed a few hours to laugh about those simpler times, or they were dying to see some long-lost buddies. But for one night, they had a chance to recall what was good, and how far they've come during these past couple of decades.

I've got my own little reunion coming up in a couple of days. A handful of the college guys are gathering on the Connecticut shore for the weekend, and I could not be more ready to go. I'm not sure that those four years at school were the best years of my life, but man, they rank very high. And I don't want to forget that.

Here's another thing I haven't forgotten. About a month before I graduated, I was up late one night at my apartment talking with a roommate. Oh, we were so smart. We had our whole lives figured out. We would have jobs within a month or two of graduating, we'd have houses shortly after that and we'd be married with kids in about five years. That's what we told each other.

Well let's see. I didn't find a job until eight months after graduation, and got laid off five months later. I didn't get married until age 34, didn't own my first house until I was 35. And then the kids (finally) came along. I don't regret how any of it turned out. But that conversation with Mike, who I'll see this weekend, taught me a great life lesson. Sometimes it's dangerous to look too far ahead. But it's always OK to look back.

Quiet time

"Silence is a source of great strength."  ~ Lao Tzu

I'm not one to quote Chinese philosophers, but man, it's hard to argue with that. I mention this because I'm at the tail end of five days of solitude here at the house. Tomorrow I'm flying to Minnesota to meet up with my wife and kids for the weekend. And I'll tell you, the silence at home has been equal parts strange and relaxing.

Well, I haven't been totally alone. The dog is here, and I've been talking to him. A lot. Most times, he'll shoot me a look like this:

That's an older photo of him, but you get the drift. "Dude, what are you babbling about and when is the rest of the family coming home?!?"

OK, back to the point. A big part of my motivation for starting this blog was to have some time to myself. It's too damn easy to get caught up in routines these days. Work at the office. Work at home. Coach Little League. Cut the grass. Make dinner. Take care of things for the kids. Help my wife with anything if she needs it. Start it all over again on Monday. 

I don't want to confuse anyone. I believe it's my responsibility first and foremost to take care of my family and do whatever is necessary to be a provider. I love them and they're my reason for living. And hell, I like cooking, spending time in the yard and other things. But clearly I need to put some time aside for Joe a little more often.

So I'll put the question to you guys (if anyone is still listening). What do you do to make time for yourself? How do you take a break from life and just unwind? I know, it's a pretty basic question, but I want to hear what you guys do. Maybe I'll get some good ideas. Talk to you soon.

OK, I'll start

Hello again. I want to thank all of you who have shared your support for this blog in the past couple of days. It's good to know that we're (and I say "we're," because we're doing this together) engaged in a worthwhile endeavor.

I've had a few people ask about the profiles and many of you have agreed to participate, which is pretty damn cool because I'm still a little nervous about this and am trying to figure out what it's all going to look like. Let's just say there will be very few rules. Like I said, I want to hear about what defines you, what motivates you, your interests and other things.

So here's a prototype, and I hope this will clear a few things up. Today we're talking with Joe.

OK, wait a minute. That was the icebreaker. That's me a few hours before high school junior prom. Here's something a little closer to what I look like now.

That's the guy you know. With less hair. Much. Less. Hair. Let's see what he has to say.

Let’s start with some basics. Tell me a little bit about your life.

I live in Springfield, Va. with my family. One wife, two kids and a dog who's terrific when he's not using household goods as his chew toys. I'm a workforce analyst at an area nonprofit. It's not the greatest job in the world right now and has gotten stale, but it's stable and it helps me provide for my family.

I grew up in Connecticut in the Town of Wethersfield, it's a tiny suburb of Hartford. It's where I spent the first 28 years of my life. I lived in Gainesville, Fla. for a few years and then moved to the Washington, D.C. region in January 2004. Been here ever since. I was a newspaper reporter for about 14 years and have worked in the analyst job for the past eight years.

Now tell me a little bit about your background. What is your heritage? Where does your family come from? Do you have roots outside of the United States?

I'm a true American mutt. On my father's side, his Dad was Irish and his mother was Italian. On my mother's side, her Dad was German/Irish and her mother was Greek. My Dad's parents passed away before I was born. He didn't like talking about his childhood too much, but I know that his Dad was a World War I veteran and worked for the U.S. Postal Service. His Mom (according to my Dad's friends) was a typical Italian mama who urged everyone to stuff their faces every time they came to their house in Hartford. 

My Mom's father died when I was eight months old. But "Grammy," my mother's Mom, died when I was 19. She had some pretty cool stories. She was sent from Thessaloniki, Greece to the U.S. by her parents at age 5 to live with her aunt and uncle. She never said why they sent her away, but I like to think they believed she would have a better life here in the States. So she showed up at Ellis Island and made her way. Man, she was tough as nails. She taught pottery and volunteered at nursing homes, and she worked as a teacher's assistant at an elementary school in West Hartford. She didn't stop working until about six months before she died at age 82.

What really drives you? What’s your reason for getting out of bed every day?

Honestly, it's friends and family. I really value the relationships in my life. I think that's why I started this blog. I need it for personal reasons, because I realized I haven't been taking enough "me" time lately, but it's also another chance to connect with friends. And to have some laughs. I like to make people laugh. It doesn't always work, but dammit, I try every day.

I should also mention that I like to do yard work, crossword puzzles and play Scrabble. So yeah, somebody call AARP and tell them I'm ready for my card.

Tell me about a difficult period in your life, how you coped with it and how it made you stronger.

Whew. Well, I mentioned in the first post that my Dad's death a few years ago was extremely difficult. My Mom was diagnosed with dementia shortly afterwards, and my sister is still up in Connecticut trying to manage things. Mom is in assisted living right now and she still knows who we are, but the disease has affected her speech and communication is challenging. 

Honestly, I don't know that it's made me stronger yet. I just know that it's hard to watch over my family down here and keep an eye on things that are happening 400 miles away at the same time. But I'm trying.

In your travels or through your work, tell me about a time you learned more about somebody – or something – after looking a little deeper, beyond the superficial.

Well, this doesn't relate to a specific person, but I realized that there's a bigger world out there when I moved to Florida. I know it seems obvious, but up to that point, I had not lived in a community or worked in a place that people from many different cultures/races/backgrounds called home. It really opened my eyes. Our newsroom, for example, was a mix of white/black/Asian/Hispanic people, gay/straight, Democrat/Republican, you name it.  

And as you can imagine, that increased tenfold after moving to the D.C. region. That's one of things I love about where we live. There are 150 countries and 100 different languages represented in the student body of the county where my kids go to school. That still blows me away. And that's the kind of place where I want to live, and where I want my kids to be, as well.

Let’s have a little fun. Tell me about your worst job. And if you haven’t had one, tell me about the most interesting one.

Oh boy. That's easy. I spent part of a summer working at the Connecticut motor vehicle department during high school. My job was to alphabetize the accident reports. That's it. This is before computers. I alphabetized paperwork. I also quit after three weeks.

Tell me about your taste in music. I don't know about you (well, I do, but this is a template for future interviews), but I can't live without tunes. In the car. While making dinner. During workouts at the gym. They're necessary, right?

I have a really weird mix of music on my iPod. I feel like I'm getting old, though, because the selections weigh heavily toward anything from the 1960s to the 1990s. But it's rock, blues, metal, jazz, classical. It could be Black Keys one minute and Stevie Wonder the next. Many different genres. Just depends on what mood I'm in. Maybe some people on this blog can make some suggestions.

Thanks Joe. Did we miss anything? Anything you’d like to add?

Yeah. This has been a lot of fun. And you're quite a handsome man.

Well, OK, you know I'm kidding at the end there. But that's where we're going. I want to get serious and have some fun at the same time. Let me know what you think and if you have any questions. Talk to you soon.

Why we're here

No, no, no. This isn't another attempt to find out why we're in this world and how we came to be. This is my first blog post and I want to tell you why I'm doing this. My name is Joe and there's something I need to fix in my life, and hopefully you're all going to help me.

I feel like I've been in a funk for quite some time now, and I know it's rooted in the death of my Dad a few years ago, my Mom's subsequent health issues and a job that has turned into a dead end after nearly eight years.

So. . .I've been repeatedly told by family and friends that I need a creative outlet to take my mind off some of this stuff. I've always loved to write and I have come to realize that I don't write for fun any more. I need a place where I can crack a few jokes, share some (occasionally inane) observations and interact with my friends.

But there's another important element of this exercise that you'll have a hand in, if you're interested. I think we need to pay more attention to one another, because, let's face it, there's too much hate in our world right now. And I believe the cause of that hate -- whether it's based on race, religion, sexual orientation, political affiliation, socioeconomic status, you name it -- is because people really aren't taking the time to get to know one another.

I've always said my dream job would be driving around the country and writing profiles of people from all walks of life. I love to hear stories. I love to learn what makes people tick, what they're passionate about, what defines them.

So from time to time, I'm going to profile a friend of mine on here (with their permission, of course). If you're willing, I'll send you a series of questions in a Q & A format and we'll share the results with the massive amount of readers that will soon flock to this blog. It's gonna happen, I swear.

We'll keep it as anonymous as possible, but I would like to use your first name, if I can. If not, we can work something out, no sweat. I want to know where you come from, your roots, your interests, what you think is wrong with the world and what's right about it, too.

Have you ever said to yourself, "I wish I wouldn't get judged just because I'm [insert personal characteristic here]?" That's the sort of stuff I want to hear about. I want you to vent. I want people to understand that, while we may be different on the surface, we have more in common that we realize.

By now you're thinking, "Joe, this is a nice idea, but aren't a lot of your friends pretty similar already?" Well, yes and no. So here's the cool part. After I (hopefully) compile a lengthy set of interviews with friends, I'd like those people to recommend a friend of theirs who can be profiled on this site.

I know, I feel like I'm giving you homework here, but think about how many more people we can reach if we pull that off. Maybe you know someone with an incredible personal history. Maybe you know someone who's doing great work and they'd like to share their story with us. See where I'm going?

I'm not naive. This is not a campaign for "everyone needs to get along in this world," because that's unrealistic. But I think we can learn from each other. We need to share each other's stories. That's why I chose the name "Profiles Encourage" for this blog. It's a nod to the John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award. It's given to those who "govern for the greater good, even when it is not in their own interest to do so. . .it celebrates individuals who choose the public interest over partisanship – who do what is right, rather than what is expedient."

Yeah, it's an award for politicians, but I like that message. Do what's right. Govern for the greater good. Because it's a big world out there and we're all in it together. So let's get to know each other along the way.