Profiles Encourage: Tanya

Hello again, everyone. Today we're talking with Tanya. She's a talented researcher and an expert at curling (the sport, not the hair. Although I'm sure she's very good at that, too). We have worked together for several years and she occasionally laughs at my jokes, so that makes her an excellent judge of character and quite smart, in my opinion.

Take it away, Tanya.

Hi Tanya. Let’s start with some basics. Tell me a little bit about your life. Where do you live and what do you do?

I'm a mother of a two-year-old girl, wife of an awesome husband who cooks me dinner every night and washes the dishes. I feel like I put on an act sometimes, but he is genuine, has no filter and is funny. I find it very refreshing, and while sometimes, OK often, I feel he takes things too far, more often I wish I could be as honest as he is.

Where I work matters less to me than what I do. I work at a non-profit membership association for HR professionals, but I have never been in HR and it's not my interest. I am a survey researcher. I like designing surveys, learning things about people and analyzing data. My job allows me independence, variety, flexibility and has good benefits and decent pay. Plus I've got some pretty great co-workers.

I live in Maryland, a suburb of D.C. and work in Virginia. It's a conflicting place to live. Nice parks, green areas, a river, hiking, close enough to take a beach weekend, tons of great restaurants, entertainment, art, and lots of friends here plus some family (in-laws). But I'm a Wisconsinite, so the traffic, entitled folk, politics and sheer number of people is not so desirable.

Now tell me a little bit about your background. What is your heritage? Where does your family come from? Do you have roots outside of the United States?

I grew up in a small city of 20,000 people in central Wisconsin. It was a unique population because we had a large clinic and hospital with a research center. So we had a large number of doctors in the town. Almost all of my close friends in high school had a parent who was a doctor. My mother is a musician, teacher and stayed at home to raise me and my three brothers. My father is a small business owner selling feed and seed to farmers.

Both of them grew up in Wisconsin and earned college degrees. My maternal grandparents also went to college in Wisconsin, my Grandma teaching English and my grandpa still known as "the Judge" at 100 years old in his town. My grandpa was also a pilot, taking us on flights in his Cessna when I was a kid. He was trained in the military, and went on bombing missions to Berlin until his plane was shot down and was captured as a POW.

My father grew up on a farm and his father worked for the postal service after serving in the Aleutian Alaskan islands in WWII. He remembers hearing Danish being spoken by his grandparents. But my heritage is very mixed as my relatives have been in the U.S. for many generations. A smattering of Danish, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, Norwegian, English, Swiss and possibly others. But certainly I'm very white with blond hair, though my mom had dark brown hair. I remember eating lefsa as a Christmas tradition, but otherwise nothing seemed very reminiscent of a foreign culture.

Is there something about you – a physical characteristic, a personality trait, an aspect of your job or any part of your life – that is frequently misunderstood by people? If so, please tell me about it and what you would say to dispel that misunderstanding. 

Rather than being misunderstood, I feel I am perceived as always being in a good mood even when I'm not. Probably not a bad thing, but on my worst day, a stranger might stop me and ask for directions. Can't you see the scowl on my face!? I think, but alas they make me realize it must not be so bad. One of my high school friends once told me, "Tanya, everyone likes you!"

Let’s flip that around now. Tell me about a time you learned more about somebody – or something – after looking a little deeper, beyond the superficial.

One of my good friends started dating this guy, and when I first met him, I was like, really? What do you see in this guy? He is so childish, but as I got to know him I realized he was a great guy and just liked to have a good time. I think he was really more mature than we all were and knew who he was and what was important to him. He certainly didn't care what others thought about him. They are still together several years later and I can see why.

What really drives you? What’s your reason for getting out of bed every day?

I'm a morning person and like to get out of bed and start the day. I feel like the morning is the most important part of the day and determines how the rest will go. I guess I'm driven by accomplishment. I wake up thinking about what I will get done that day and feel bad if I don't meet my goals.

I'm not driven by my job, other than I need the money and want to get my work done. I'm driven by my daughter and want to spend time with her before I go to work. Otherwise it's just habit and human nature. I would like it to be more, but honestly it's not at this point in my life. But I'm OK with that.

Tell me about a difficult period in your life, how you coped with it and how it made you stronger.

I don't feel like I've had many difficulties in my life. I guess I've gone through depression, but I feel many people have. It's hard to remember since it has been over five years ago. Medication probably helped and I learned to recognize my thoughts and signs before I slipped into depression.

It was a pretty amazing feeling when I recognized harmful thoughts and nipped them in the bud. Luckily it has not returned, but I feel very aware if it were to try and come back.

We all know there’s no shortage of bad news out there. Now tell me what gives you hope and what’s good about the world.

What gives me hope is that life is short and I have no idea what comes after death. Therefore live life to the fullest. I also have great friends who remind me of what great people there are and we far outnumber the not so good people. My master's degree in positive psychology has taught me to be grateful.

Let’s have a little fun here. Tell me about your worst job. And if you haven’t had one, tell me about the most interesting one.

My most interesting job was milking cows. I had no experience so they trained me. I helped a cow birth a calf and chased an escapee in the dark. Not a long-term job, but interesting for a summer.

Now let’s talk about music. I need it every day. In the car, at the gym, in the kitchen, you name it. Tell me what you like and when you need to hear it.

I love music, but it also pains me that I no longer play an instrument. I used to play violin, trombone and some piano. I loved it but no longer play. I still have my violin and bought a guitar, but don't really play either.

I sing to my daughter a lot in hopes she will love music, but I do hope to get back into performing some day. Music helps me work. I can focus better with it on in the background. I like a diverse type, but my favorite is indie rock. Give me some Sonic Youth.

Thanks, Tanya. Did we miss anything? Anything you’d like to add?

My passion is helping other people. I wanted to be a teacher once and was a life coach for several years. So if you are looking for someone to listen and direction in life, please reach out to me.